The Valbowski's Guide to the Galaxy
Hey guys, I hope enough of you figured out how to get here to make this post worthwhile. This will be the first of dozens of updates throughout the summer, hopefully daily. Although that will only be possible with a large amount of pressure from you guys telling me to write more often.
Anyway, I had nothing to do this week, so I decided to head home for a couple days. Going home is great--my parents think I'm coming home to spend time with them, I know I'm going home to spend their money. And it appears that my parents think that in the last three years I have learned absolutely nothing about how to live on my own.
"How are you going to find yourself something to make for lunch?" my dad asked me.
"Dad, I can find something."
"Would you like to make BLTs?"
"Sure."
"Well here's the bacon if you give that a shot."
If I give that a shot?!?!?
"Well I don't know, have you ever cooked bacon before?"
Three years I've been living on my own. I can cook AT LEAST breakfast sausage at this point. MAYBE corned beef hash. Maybe.
And the town of Hutchinson, 14,000 people in all, has not become more confusing since I left, despite the opinions of my parents. I needed an oil change, and where else would I go than Bob's Fast Lube. The only time you can say "fast lube" without any social consequences is when you make a trip to Bob's Fast Lube, so I plug that whenever possible. My dad, however, wasn't sure I could handle the outing. When I told him of my plan to head out to Bob's, he was skeptical.
"Do you know where that is?"
"Yes. It's on one of the TWO roads."
"OK. Well you just go there and tell them that you need an oil---"
"Dad."
Do parents really think that our life skills decline the longer we're away from them? Would my dad be shocked to learn that yes, I can even sprinkle taco seasoning on some ground beef to make tacos? Would he be surprised if I told him that I register for my own classes? Could he possibly comprehend that I am responsible for waking myself up every morning and going to class? Would he find it unusual that I have started my own Whizzinator business? ($149.99 by the way).
Well that's the issue for today. I'll be posting more very soon. Just remember this: If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
nils.
Anyway, I had nothing to do this week, so I decided to head home for a couple days. Going home is great--my parents think I'm coming home to spend time with them, I know I'm going home to spend their money. And it appears that my parents think that in the last three years I have learned absolutely nothing about how to live on my own.
"How are you going to find yourself something to make for lunch?" my dad asked me.
"Dad, I can find something."
"Would you like to make BLTs?"
"Sure."
"Well here's the bacon if you give that a shot."
If I give that a shot?!?!?
"Well I don't know, have you ever cooked bacon before?"
Three years I've been living on my own. I can cook AT LEAST breakfast sausage at this point. MAYBE corned beef hash. Maybe.
And the town of Hutchinson, 14,000 people in all, has not become more confusing since I left, despite the opinions of my parents. I needed an oil change, and where else would I go than Bob's Fast Lube. The only time you can say "fast lube" without any social consequences is when you make a trip to Bob's Fast Lube, so I plug that whenever possible. My dad, however, wasn't sure I could handle the outing. When I told him of my plan to head out to Bob's, he was skeptical.
"Do you know where that is?"
"Yes. It's on one of the TWO roads."
"OK. Well you just go there and tell them that you need an oil---"
"Dad."
Do parents really think that our life skills decline the longer we're away from them? Would my dad be shocked to learn that yes, I can even sprinkle taco seasoning on some ground beef to make tacos? Would he be surprised if I told him that I register for my own classes? Could he possibly comprehend that I am responsible for waking myself up every morning and going to class? Would he find it unusual that I have started my own Whizzinator business? ($149.99 by the way).
Well that's the issue for today. I'll be posting more very soon. Just remember this: If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."
nils.
posted by Kristie at 4:48 PM
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