War of the Valbowskis
A terribly sad note: Dairy Queen has changed the name of its "misty slush"--or "mr. misty" as I called them during my childhood. They are now known as Arctic Rushes. And they have their own unique cups.
I have reached a few points in my life:
1. I have no problem socializing and going out with my parents, and getting drunk with them, because they now let down their guards and I see them as complete drunks. Seeing your parents and all their friends you grew up around totally wasted is quite the sight. It makes me feel a whole lot less guilty, I'll tell you that.
2. I no longer care at all what I look like or what I am wearing in public. Jerseys, crappy swim trunks turned into shorts, no boxers (or underwear), no shower, weird visors turned in strange directions--I'm afraid of nothing. Now I guess I know what it feels like to be Pete Hoeger.
3. I am no longer ashamed to admit that, from time to time, I wear tighty-whitey, elementary school-style underwear. Hey, it keeps things in place, prevents chafage and minimizes uncomfortable sticking and sweating. I challenge any man who is comfortable with himself to try this. Your life will never be the same.
Santana was in town last week. Here's what I'm thinking--Rob Thomas is certainly not on tour with Santana to sing "Smooth." So I wonder who gets that job. Who gets to be the guy who sings "Smooth," knowing that everybody in the audience is hearing Rob Thomas. Rough gig. Probably one of the worst things to be known for--"That guy who sings 'Smooth' instead of Rob Thomas on tour with Santana." Other not-so-proud-to-be-recognized people:
The guy from 2nd Wind Fitness--"Why buy new when slightly used will do? Except when the deals are this good." Still one of the most puzzling slogans of all time.
That one annoying, overly tan Watson's lady--"That's Watson's!"
That one kid who got dumped because he was too nice, got dumped because his girlfriend wasn't in touch with her spiritual side, and was duped into asking a girl out only to have her tell him "oh, I have a boyfriend..." Wait a second...that's Conor Leonard!
Tara Reid.
That woman who had to fix Tara Reid's dress when it exposed her nasty breast.
Anyone who inspires the comment, "That's when you know your life plan went awry," or "Bet that job was what he had in mind for a career."
That's all I got today. R.I.P. Luther Vandross
I have reached a few points in my life:
1. I have no problem socializing and going out with my parents, and getting drunk with them, because they now let down their guards and I see them as complete drunks. Seeing your parents and all their friends you grew up around totally wasted is quite the sight. It makes me feel a whole lot less guilty, I'll tell you that.
2. I no longer care at all what I look like or what I am wearing in public. Jerseys, crappy swim trunks turned into shorts, no boxers (or underwear), no shower, weird visors turned in strange directions--I'm afraid of nothing. Now I guess I know what it feels like to be Pete Hoeger.
3. I am no longer ashamed to admit that, from time to time, I wear tighty-whitey, elementary school-style underwear. Hey, it keeps things in place, prevents chafage and minimizes uncomfortable sticking and sweating. I challenge any man who is comfortable with himself to try this. Your life will never be the same.
Santana was in town last week. Here's what I'm thinking--Rob Thomas is certainly not on tour with Santana to sing "Smooth." So I wonder who gets that job. Who gets to be the guy who sings "Smooth," knowing that everybody in the audience is hearing Rob Thomas. Rough gig. Probably one of the worst things to be known for--"That guy who sings 'Smooth' instead of Rob Thomas on tour with Santana." Other not-so-proud-to-be-recognized people:
The guy from 2nd Wind Fitness--"Why buy new when slightly used will do? Except when the deals are this good." Still one of the most puzzling slogans of all time.
That one annoying, overly tan Watson's lady--"That's Watson's!"
That one kid who got dumped because he was too nice, got dumped because his girlfriend wasn't in touch with her spiritual side, and was duped into asking a girl out only to have her tell him "oh, I have a boyfriend..." Wait a second...that's Conor Leonard!
Tara Reid.
That woman who had to fix Tara Reid's dress when it exposed her nasty breast.
Anyone who inspires the comment, "That's when you know your life plan went awry," or "Bet that job was what he had in mind for a career."
That's all I got today. R.I.P. Luther Vandross
posted by Kristie at 10:11 PM
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