A Valbowski of Ordinary Gentlemen

Found it. Drop for drop, Kwik Trip guarantees that their gasoline is the finest on the planet. Get this--if you have a gasoline-related car problem on a tank of Kwik Trip gasoline, they will pay to fix it. Here's my question: how can you prove your gas was from Kwik Trip? So you have a receipt that says you bought $20 in gas yesterday. But what if you drove to Wichita and back last night? What if you siphoned the gas into your city's giant lawnmower? What if you poisoned Conor's Nalgene with it? I just don't think this can be proven, which is why I will always claim my gas came from Kwik Trip when I have gasoline-related car problems. What? I paid in cash, no receipt, no record of the transaction--it's almost worth doing on purpose. Read up ladies and gents.
http://www.kwiktrip.com/m_whoweare/f_gasoline/aboutktgasoline.asp


So here's the deal. I am at St. Olaf tonight because my girlfriend Kristie is graduating tomorrow. I am sober, she is not. She is engaging right now in a conversation with a friend's sister, who she just met today. I will now transcribe part of their conversation to illustrate how ridiculous drunken conversations sound when you are sober. Let's dive in.

Savannah (Other girl): "No, I mean I'm totally a humanitarian at heart."
Kristie: "Yeah, wow."
S: "Do you wanna go to Austin's room?"
K: "Yeah, but I gotta pee first"
S: "Hell yeah, I gotta pee too"
K: "I have to put some hair product in. See my new shoes right there? I love them"
S: "They're pink"

Damn, they quit talking. I swear, if this computer hadn't shut down during the middle of this conversation, you all would be rolling on the ground. Maybe I'll check back later with some highlights from the night.